Fearing the unknown


Never allow your fear to stop you living your life to the fullest.

It's 9.30 in the evening and as I lie in bed I am reminiscing over the days events.

For over 30 years of my life I have suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  The consequences of having this as a part of my life and being misdiagnosed is that I can frequently be hit with agoraphobia and unwelcomed flashbacks when under excessive stress.

Three month ago Ian and I had decided that we needed to spend some quality time with each other.  After much deliberation we agreed that we would head off to sunnier shores and a warmer climate during Australia's frosty winter.

As the day drew closer to our departure, I could feel the stress and tension rise within my heart, body and mind.

My attempt to plan my days and activities accomplish very little.  However I felt more at ease with planning and be productively happier with each moment that I finished organising what I needed to get done.  I found that I felt a sense of certainty if I knew what to pre-plan.

The day had finally arrived.

This being my first trip out of Australia I knew that it was going to be difficult. But neither my husband or I knew how much that the agoraphobia was still effecting me deeply and profoundly.

My bags where packed and with some minor emotional moments, it was time to get into the car.  As I closed the car door and sat in the passenger side in the front seat. I began to tremble and shake, cry and be stricken with fear.

The fear of the unknown can create an intense fear within our heart, mind and body.  My fear has some very real effects both emotionally, mentally and physically. But I refuse to that stop me going forward in my life!

When we feel fear we can either shrink from what we fear of challenge ourselves to grow: creating courage, strength and empowering ourselves in our hearts.

On the way to the airport today I have one major meltdown which I have not experienced for sometime.  Tonight as Ian and I settled into our hotel and he approached me and held me with a warm loving embrace I had a flash back from the past. My memories of the past are unwelcomed and can be triggered without warning sometimes..

However strong or intense the fear we feel, it is always important to ensure that the decisions you make in your life are based on love, inspiration and the passion to live life to the fullest.

Honouring our potential in life requires us to challenge our limitations.

Fearing what we do not know can be normal. Letting that dictate how you live you life can have disastrous consequence's because you begin living smaller, hoping that this may reduce the fear that you feel.  However it does not reduce our fear but it will diminish our  potential to live life with passion.

Finding our potential may require breaking down old self limiting barriers.

But it opens a whole new world of opportunities'.

With all my warmth and heart


Chintamani Bird
Chintamani Bird


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